How to Be the Boss of Your Own Life

A close up picture of Melissa looking down at her laptop, smiling.

I’ve spent a lot of time waiting – waiting for people, waiting for permission, waiting for progress, waiting for the right thing to come along, and even waiting for the wrong thing to leave me the heck alone.

But I’ve realized waiting is a passive approach to life, not an active one. It is letting life happen to you, instead of creating the life you want.

Now don’t get me wrong, some things are truly out of our control, but not as many things as we think. It’s just that most of us have become so accustomed to living a passive lifestyle, we forget that we even have the choice to be an active participant in our own lives. And not just a participant, but a boss.

Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way. I’ve wasted countless hours of my life waiting for people to give me permission to move forward, instead of realizing I had the power to move forward on my own. And these countless hours wasted have taught me one vital thing: I can trust myself.

I can trust that if I really tune in to my inner wisdom, I won’t be lead astray.

Sometimes, though, we listen to our inner wisdom and things don’t turn out as we thought they might, so we think our inner wisdom must be wrong. We think if our inner wisdom was that far off, it can’t be trusted.

Yet, that’s absolutely not true. Your inner wisdom can always be trusted.

If you do feel lead astray, however, the first thing you need to consider is whether or not it was actually your inner wisdom you were listening to in the first place. If you are out of touch with your inner wisdom because you spend a lot of time trying to please others, it may have been another voice you were listening to and not the voice of your inner wisdom. It may have been the voice of someone you have allowed to infiltrate your psyche in a subconscious attempt to please them.

The second thing you need to consider is your inner wisdom is looking one hundred steps ahead, while you are often only looking ten. Maybe while you were staring over the hood, your inner wisdom had its eye on the horizon. It knew your immediate failures could be stepping stones to future successes, so it simply lead you where you needed to go.

A picture of Melissa looking down at her laptop, smiling. The text reads, "How to Be the Boss of Your Own Life."

Photo Credit: Debra Snell Photography

So how do you tune in to your inner wisdom and move from passive participant to active boss?

Well, it starts with acknowledging you are an adult. And I know this might sound like a silly step, but hear me out. The reason I believe so many of us are living passive lives is because we are stuck in a childish mentality of needing permission. We grow up having to ask our parents’ permission for almost everything, but many of us never grow out of that when we become adults.

I know that happened to me. I was well into adulthood before I really accepted the fact I now had agency over my own life. And, to this day, at the ripe old age of thirty, I still have to give myself friendly reminders that I am an adult. I suspect I will need these reminders the rest of my life, but that just goes to show how deeply entrenched one can become in childish behaviors.

And notice how I said childish not childlike. The first is immature; the latter is pure. Just because we need to remember that we are adults, doesn’t mean we need to forget what it was like to be a child. We have plenty to learn from our former innocence.

But once we have acknowledged we are, in fact, adults, we have to start practicing giving ourselves permission. And I recommend starting small here until you really get back in tune with your inner wisdom.

Start with little things like giving yourself permission to order dessert without needing the other person to want dessert, too. Or give yourself permission to take a day off for no other reason than you deserve rest. Or give yourself permission to say “no” to that invite and “yes” to the thing you’d rather do instead.

Giving yourself permission in small areas of your life will help develop your ability to give yourself permission in bigger areas. It’s like exercising a muscle. You start with small weights and gentle resistance, then slowly work yourself up to heavier weights and more resistance. The more you practice giving yourself permission, the more you’ll trust the guidance of your inner wisdom.

Another way you can learn to trust your inner wisdom is to start listening for patterns and clues. Your inner wisdom is always trying to show you the next step. It’s always trying to help you actively move your life forward, but we often get distracted by those other voices or simply the busyness of life. So one of the best things you can do is get still and quiet your mind for a few minutes each day and see what comes up.

Has your inner wisdom been nudging you in the gut for months or even years about one thing in particular? Has your inner wisdom been dropping small hints all along? If it has, it’s time to practice giving yourself permission again and act on whatever your inner wisdom is telling you.

Because, ultimately, the move from passive participant to active boss is about listening to your inner wisdom and then taking action. It’s realizing you don’t have to wait for a personal promotion; you are already the boss of your own life.

At BlossomWriter, we believe no one can or should blossom alone. If you enjoyed this blog post, why not share it with friends?!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *