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BlossomWriter Core Value #1: We believe all people deserve an opportunity to blossom into their best, truest selves without discrimination or judgement.
Sometimes I like to sit and imagine a world where everyone was working to blossom into their best, truest selves. Which sounds hokey, I suppose, but our current world was, in fact, born in people’s imaginations.
When I imagine this new world, I imagine people would be more patient and kind, forgiving and loving, accepting and welcoming. I imagine the planet would be more vibrant, creation abounding. I imagine life would feel simultaneously more gentle and hard because it’s not easy to blossom.
It’s not easy living in the space between who you were and who you are becoming. And it’s even harder to remain in the space taken-up by your most authentic self.
Yet, it feels so much more gentle when you aren’t doing it alone.
And that is what I strive to achieve here at BlossomWriter – a space where no one has to blossom alone, where the hard and gentle team, where all are free to take-up space and bloom.
I’ll be honest, though, when I started this blog I was mostly focused on myself and my own blossoming. I thought that maybe I could come out of hiding and write my way to healing. I thought this blog would be my space.
But it turns out that my space is lonely.
It turns out that I was lonely. I was writing because I was yearning to not have to do this blossoming thing, or even this life thing, alone anymore. And the only reason I had been doing it alone for so long is because I didn’t think I was worthy of doing life with others. I assumed other people did not find me worthy. I assumed I couldn’t be loved, or even liked, if people knew the real Melissa.
Unworthiness is prevalent in our culture. Not only does it run deep in our inner circles as we try to jockey for positions and prove our value to our tribes, but it’s shouted from religious and political platforms as if it were the very platform itself.
I’ve come to see this as a game. Just as a parent plays “I spy” out the window to keep chaotic children under control, so we play the worthiness game of pointing outward so as not to have to look inward and deal with the chaos of our innermost selves.
It is easier to look with a judgmental eye at the raw humanity we see in others and find fault because it makes us feel better about ourselves. It puts us in a position where we feel more powerful and validated, a position where we don’t have to change or be uncomfortable. Because, in this position, we think our worth will be found in the very lack of worthiness we perceive in others.
Yet, I believe, if we turned inward to see the raw humanity in ourselves, we might find ourselves graciously embracing the raw humanity in others. If we have dealt with our propensity for anger, we might be more apt to forgive. If we have dealt with the abandonment we experienced in childhood, we might be more reticent to welcome with open arms. And if we have dealt with our need to be right, we might be ok with being wrong.
We might realize our worth is our raw humanity; it is our existence.
Or, as astronomer Carl Sagan so eloquently framed it,
“Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.”
Each of us is precious and worthy of being here, simply because we exist. So when I say blossoming is for everyone and that all people are welcome to join me on this journey, I mean it.
And, yes, we’ll sometimes disagree with each other. It’s ok. I welcome civil disagreement. But what I do not welcome is calling the very being of someone else disagreeable. It is counter productive to blossoming and, quite frankly, to being a human being living on this planet.
We all deserve an opportunity to look within ourselves and decide what we want or need to change and what we want or need to stay just the way it is. We all deserve an opportunity to find that best, truest version of ourselves that has been buried inside us all along.
I will never allow this blog to be a space where anyone has to prove they are worthy to be here. There is nothing to prove. This is a community where everyone is welcome to come as they are and to blossom into exactly who they are meant to be.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on worthiness. Have you ever personally struggled with worthiness? What has helped you begin to see yourself as worthy? Share your thoughts in the comments below.